http://hellbounce.ycool.com/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 17:04:46 GMT Tue, 29 Apr 2008 17:04:46 GMT http://sta.yculblog.com/images/logo/general-88x31.gif http://hellbounce.ycool.com/ http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.861183.html 2.喜欢用小指和无名指&拇指和二指夹烟
3.发现陌生人盯着我看我就会stare back直到对方心寒的把目光移开
4.喜欢裸睡
5.基本不笑
6.只穿平脚内裤
7.中餐不喜欢吃放过糖的菜
8.睡觉一般是这种姿势         o
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9。。。。
太多了
谁爱接谁接。... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.861183.html Thu, 08 Sep 2005 16:09:11 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.829698.html A campus old-school ambience with salary paid could make many people jealous, but I'm sick of it.

When you do something with an exact intention, everything gets you bored.... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.829698.html Sat, 20 Aug 2005 16:08:03 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.817643.html ... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.817643.html Sun, 14 Aug 2005 05:08:48 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.804438.html 1.自己前世應該是哪裡人、什麼人？
印第安Mohawk族

2.会說幾種語言？
三种

3.會喝酒跟抽菸嗎？會的話是偏愛喝/抽哪一種牌子？
Jonnie Walker, Black Label/Camel,玉溪

4.身高+体重+年齡+指圍？(火暴)
300-400

5.對於自己誕生的那天，請發表感想。
167年前我诞生的后一天，贝多芬死了

6.目前為止有沒有出現最喜愛跟最厭惡的食物？
喜欢半生不熟且可以食用的东西，比如生鱼片，五成熟的牛排

7.對於自身或別人，除正常向，介意BL、GL、雙插卡嗎？
我正常，并且尊重别人的取向

8.洗澡時先洗哪裡？
脸

9.對自己身體哪裡最不滿意？
骨架，我骨架太小了

10.即使不愛說髒話，卻還是在內心第一個飆出來的髒話字眼是？
干......

11.如果說全宇宙都靜止一天，只有你能活動，你想做什麼？
看看别人之前都在做什么

12.覺得自己的魅力點在於...？
不要脸，不care

13.如果深受歡迎的話，覺得會被哪個年齡層或階層喜愛？
don't care

14.萬一在公眾場合放出有聲屁，你會
自己忍不住笑起来

15.對於美食的定義，並舉例。
一定要吃的我大汗淋漓

16.最無法忍受怎樣的男生跟女生？
不牛逼但是爱装逼

17.碰過靈異的事嗎？地點在哪裡？
碰到过，电脑硬盘里，有鬼不断吞噬我的磁盘空间

18.怕不怕黑？為什麼？
不怕，那个时候触觉很灵敏，内心很安静

19.怎樣的程度叫做跟某人很熟？
我开始给他起各种各样的外号

20.喜歡哪一牌的保養品跟化妝品？
不固定

21.假使有人在街頭認錯人，誤拍了你的肩，當你回頭你覺得那個人會是怎樣的傢伙？
肯定不是美女

22.希望收到怎樣的禮物？(不特定限節日)
DIY的

23.才藝為何？覺得會這個能做什麼？
自娱自乐

24.喜歡什麼香水？
echo,Davidoff 虽然很少用

25.每天睡幾個小時，會不會做夢？
不确定，有时做梦

26.請以一句話描述自己給人的印象。(不限字數)
怪

27.對於自己的理想身高+体重，請做一個描述。(其他條件可自加)
身高+5cm，体重+5kg

28.理想？
不再患得患失

29.現實我？
百变

30.社會我？
普通

31.交過幾任女/男友？最滿意哪一任？
2个，不满意

32.承上題，通常是對方較成熟還是自己成熟？
两面都有

33.迷信嗎？對於星座或算命會相信的程度是多少？
不相信，但是好玩

34.最喜歡的節目？(不限國家、地區、種類，電視播過的皆可。)
Friends, 24

35.如果可以，希望能跟誰出去玩？
迪奥尼索斯

36.打算在什麼地方養老？
家乡

37.討厭什麼生物？
丑的

38.覺得自己最嚴重的壞習慣是？
作息不规律

40.最常哼的歌是哪一首？
瓦格纳，Die Walkure

41.座右銘是什麼呢？
Admire someone for who he is, not what he has.

42.如果現在要馬上逼你發飆，會是什麼事？
有人继续用我不知道的名字re这个blog

43.一天24小時裡，最喜歡哪個時候？
午夜

44.會不會說甜言蜜語？自己愛不愛聽？
不会，不爱

45.什麼時候認為即使毫無形象也沒差？
非正式场合

46.最難以抗拒的誘惑，認為是什麼呢？
自由

47.如果碰到了會說話的狐狸，會有什麼反應？
收为宠物

48.呆、笨、蠢、傻，覺得這四種形容差別何在？
不可以接受别人用第三个骂我

49.承上題，覺得自己屬於哪一種？
呆

50.填到現在，會不會想對發問者做什麼回應？
谢谢你

51.美形、帥氣、可愛、溫柔、優雅，覺得哪一樣描述自己最貼切？
勉强只能算第三种

52.請舉出三項自己的怪癖。
捏鼻子，不笑，裸睡

53.請舉出自己最無法忍受別人的什麼怪癖？(目前遇到過的。)
卡口谈

54.ACG裡最萌的傢伙是哪個角色？
这是什么？

55.請說出一件自己幹過最白目的事。(腦海立即浮現的就好)
跟我爸探讨哪种烟好抽

56.會不禁羨慕怎樣的人？
不羡慕别人的人

57.做過春夢嗎？做過幾次呢？
没有，只主动想象过

58.承上題，做春夢的感覺是？
还不如不做

59.承上題，春夢的角色是現實還是虛構的人？現實認識的話會是誰呢？
一般是现实中的人物加上虚构的元素

60.接吻最長的紀錄是多長？(夢裡也算)
没看时间

61.接吻有味道的話，是怎樣的味道？(ex：甜的，臭的，辣的...ect。)
甜的．

62.滿意自己的性別嗎？可以自由選擇的話希望自己是男是女﹖
满意

63.如果能像亂馬1/2或者是火宵之月那樣，有機會變男變女，會覺得這樣亂變也不錯嗎？
恩 这样不错啊

64.要是能創造自己想要的外貌，請舉出設定的樣子。
脸瘦一点

65.有理想對象嗎？描述一下對方的樣子。沒有的話，請描述想像中理想對象的條件。
感觉对了就好．

66.萬一自己就是長得普通(醜)，而且笨笨拙拙的，即使整形也不會改變多大，那麼心情會是？
现在就差不多这个样子，还好啊

67.下輩子變成非洲難民的話，還想投胎嗎？
一直想做纯种的黑人

68.要投胎成動物的話，想當什麼動物？
豹或狼

69.可以劈腿當章魚族的話，自認最多能劈幾腿？
“吃亏不要紧，肾亏可不行”

70.在家除了睡覺跟玩電腦，花最多時間在干吗？
看电视，看书

71.有沒有上課/上班偷觀察別人的習慣？
有时会的

72.家境如何？有沒有搬出去的打算？
家境一般，已经搬出来了

73.現在你邊填問題，邊在做的事是...？
聊天

74.有告白的經驗嗎？說的第一句話是？
我不喜欢你，我爱你

75.被不喜歡的人告白會說什麼？
忘记了

76.被喜歡的人告白會說什麼？
没有过

77.嚮往的景象是什麼？
海中央

78.有沒有超過三個以上的秘密？
没有

79.萬一被發現秘密，後果是自己有麻煩還是傷害別人呢？
自己有麻烦

80.對於秘密的看法，請做個簡單描述。
每个人都有，也都会被解开

81.做過最浪漫的事是什麼事？
晚上叼着根烟在公园的湖里仰泳

82.請舉出最常做的打扮。
牛仔裤，黑T-shirt，sneaker

83.打算將來會嫁娶嗎？大約是哪個時候？
30以后吧，或者更远

84.『我愛你』用哪國語言講最好聽？
听过的就没几种

85.最喜愛的名字是哪個？(不限本名，自己用過即可)
Em

86.口頭禪是什麼？(不限句數)
mer

87.第一眼看人家的...？
眼睛

88.踹人的話，用哪一腳？
右脚

89.揍人的話，用哪一手？
右手

90.常聽的音樂類型？最常聽的是誰的音樂？
最近是古典，Schubert

91.愛喝的飲料是什麼，一天最多能喝幾cc？
冰红茶，两大瓶

92.有拿手菜嗎？
没有

93.養過什麼寵物？
鹦鹉，猫，狗，乌龟，鱼，麻雀，虫子

94.以寵物的什麼人自居？(ex：爸、媽、哥哥、姐姐...ect)
哥哥

95.有暴力或自虐傾向嗎？
不得不说有

96.自己身上的味道通常是？
Adidas沐浴露

97.請舉一位性幻想對象。
Sharon Stone

98.UNDER WEAR大多是哪種顏色/花紋居多？
各式花色

99.請描述未來的自己會是個怎樣的人。(期望的也可。)
善良，独立，不惑

100.填完一百問後的感想？
我还可以再答100道

... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.804438.html Sat, 06 Aug 2005 13:08:01 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.792251.html
 接下来的生活就像是一个游戏，simulation and role playing，不断拣装备，不断寻找，不断厮杀；结果和心情都像是过山车一般。在大学的任何一个阶段，我都没有像大肆上那样渴望成功和被认可，然而也不得不在那么一点点执坳的抱怨中接受所有的偶然和迷离。告别了“I-know-more-than-you-do“和"I-feel-good"等若干症候群之后，我依旧没能坦荡的走，淡然的等，我们每一个人或许都只是在固执的寻找那一份属于自己的所谓公平。最后无论如何，在“适合自己的才是最好的“这句话的环绕立体声中假装微笑。我感恩般地意识到，在这个世界上生存，表面上的东西是多么多么地重要，最痛苦的事情莫过于被别人ripped off.

 在这期间里，我也第一次的实试着问自己诸如：你想要的是什么？你5年，10年后想成为一个点点点点的人？你认为你适合做点点点么？你是一个点点点的人？这样无稽但又好像触及到灵魂深处的问题，就如Proust Questionaire一样令人seriously地装逼。我们承认每个人要的东西不同，但对于太多太多眼前的东西，这决不意味着你想要的我绝不会想要。于是，你问我要的是什么？很多人开始踌躇地思考，或许我能给大家一个答案：“若干年以后，我有一个绰号叫做西毒。每个人都可以变得狠毒，只要你尝试过什么是嫉妒。我不在乎别人怎么看我，我只是不想别人比我更开心。” 但是，外表经常被形容为凶悍和恐怖的我，终究不是一个狠角色。在经历了漫长的游走之后，我已经会带着近乎于期望的心情，每天能穿戴整齐地去见不同的人，进不同的楼，聊聊不同的事。不变的只是，每次走进去之前和出来之后我都会点一根烟，进去以后去一趟洗手间，出来之前说声谢谢。镜头里的五光十色千奇百怪跟随着我一成不变的装容易路摇摇晃晃，没有一次剪切地走过大半个上海。这样的生活，不像是在找工作，倒是很王家卫。

 我曾经以为，我也可以变得和很多人一样，用心的去经营和去相信，“成熟稳重落拓大方“是他们的代名词，很有计划很pro，很调侃的谈论工作，career，各行各业，很懂得去share什么和connect谁，但在两次突如其来的被拒之门外之后，我还是不由得迟疑了。我不怕吃苦挨累，但是我不想每一天毫无使命感的按同一个节奏做着同样的事情；我可以忍受蛰伏，但我不想几十年奋斗换来的只是物质的层层堆积和它背后想象力苍白的生活方式。可是，我又何尝不知道生存的艰辛，责任和承诺的重要性；很多情况下，生活给我们的选择并不多，我们只能尽量去选择自己喜欢的，并且接受喜欢的当中不喜欢的东西，然后至少，让大家也包括自己看来，一切很美好。The duality of life is everywhere. 正如有的人不说英语就觉得不爽，有的人却叫嚣着没事儿说英语就是在装逼。有的人觉得工作只不过是工作，不能让它成为生活的全部，但在不知不觉中，一份工作决定了你的biorhythem，圈子，购买力，品味，娱乐，活动范围，甚至身上每一根毛生长的走向。工作不是全部，但是对于太多人它都是核心，这个漩涡卷入的东西太多太多。而这一点，绝不仅限于某某行业。毕业后大家相识不相识的人沟通起来，不知不觉中ID已经变成了各个公司的tagline，谁去了哪仿佛成为了一个标准化的产品说明书。而我，继续在一个被无限demonized的地方做我的demon，倒也贴切，some people are more comfortable in hell。

我是遗憾的，我不否认这一点；
我有后悔，后悔的是既然知道迟早要走到这么一步，为什么不早点开开心心去适应；
我是欣慰的，因为对于上面的问题我心里还留有一个大大的问号；
因为目前看来，什么都可能发生。
如此，我还能保持小孩一般对未知近乎bt地好奇心。
我是欣慰的，还因为：
When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.
                                       ----Bob Dylan, Like a Rolling Stone

To be continued.....? This one almost ruined my mood.
视心情而定。... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.792251.html Sat, 30 Jul 2005 18:07:59 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.777027.html
我理想当中的学生时代，在大一大二已经结束。Regrets, I had a few. But then again, too few to mention. 这两年承载了我太多难以忘怀的美好时刻，也是最符合我本性的生活。
忘不了在寒冷的夜里排Macbeth，11点多和Sphinx跑到国定路上的小店甩一碗酸辣粉；
忘不了星期二下午不成文约定院内的篮球集中营，那时自己凶狠狂飙，在taq,liangzai这样的队员头上乱拿篮板；
忘不了十大歌手比赛在场外准备的时候，我贼头贼脑点着一根烟生怕被人看见的情形；
忘不了在无数个周六的上午，众人熟睡时我背着电琴跑到海深琴馆被老师狂虐；
忘不了英文课上自己的肆无忌惮，好像此后我很少再有狂放的表现，在此顺便cft那两位老师们；
忘不了冬天一个人骑车到一教旁的草坪，罩着一件带帽的卫衣，跟着耳脉念念有词的学eminem，这也是我光华ID诞生的时候.....
我不属于任何一个群体，但又游弋在他们之中，我也有过不愉快，但我相信这样的生活已经比很多人精彩。高贵的败类虽然最终还是低下了头，但I am whatever you say I am，这一点至今没有改变。

To be continued....... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.777027.html Thu, 21 Jul 2005 16:07:24 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.766055.html
太多时候我们都会羡慕别人所拥有的东西，而忽略了他们为此付出的代价。我一直有个座右铭：Admire someone for who he/she is, not for what he/she has. 但是往往被问到自己想要的究竟是什么的时候，我们还是不由得迟疑了。这也是大四一年我最为深刻的感慨。

To be continued...... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.766055.html Thu, 14 Jul 2005 15:07:53 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.764588.html 弱小的我....



不得志的中年男子...



这张照片最中间的人显然不是老大....

... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.764588.html Wed, 13 Jul 2005 15:07:54 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.682859.html

 Complete Set+One Conductor=Incomplete Mahler
 是的，不存在权威的马勒指挥家。如果相对的说，我们可以极力推崇Furtwangler的贝多芬，Bohm的莫扎特，或者甚至是Francois的肖邦，Gould的巴赫；对于马勒，我们多多少少会束手无策，他的音乐只有不过一个世纪的年龄，还被冷落了将近半个世纪，却书写了人类几乎所有可能的情感，粗豪或是妩媚，细致而又喧嚣，优雅，粗野，客观，伤感，莽撞，羞怯，冠冕堂皇，泯灭自我，充满自信，缺乏安全感，形容词，反义词，形容词，反义词....。如果在巴赫面前，人们感到的是对于神人的渺小；在贝多芬面前，人们感到的是对于逆神其道而行之的英雄的人的渺小；站在马勒面前，人们第一次感受到人在音乐上最为直接和切肤的投影:富有空前戏剧性的人类的林林总总。每个人都能在马勒的音乐中找到自己，兴致高昂的自己，亦或者悲泣的自己，亦或是both。但是没有人能像把脉一样抓住他的所有，看透他的全部，要知道马勒自己就有一颗跳得不准的心脏，和眼中那个永远看不够的世界。

 即便如此，当我看到这一套全集出现在自己面前的时候，还是忍，不住欣喜若狂。立体声时代的第一个马勒全集，在60年代伯恩斯坦的指挥棒下诞生了，马勒的音乐终于在他不懈的努力下进入了古典音乐的permanent repertory。"My time is yet to come",是的，马勒的时代终于来临，正如他所料，而伯恩斯坦无疑是一个重要的代言人。一直没有找到lenny晚年在DG录制的那套全集几乎让我丧失了对马勒的兴趣，不得不承认这是典型的”全集癖”的表现，偏执地追求完整性，不惜牺牲最优组合为代价。然而我还是要安慰自己，相比DG那套，这绝对是一个bargain purchase。相比晚年lenny那种对生与死的顿悟，我更喜欢他迪奥尼索斯式随心所欲的夸张，放大了的七情六欲正好让我看个清楚。忘掉权威，就让我做一回fans。

附：Leonard Bernstein, Mahler: His time has come

MAHLER: HIS TIME HAS COME
by Leonard Bernstein
(Findings, Copyright 1982)

Has come? Had come, rather; was there all along, even as each bar of each symphony was being penned in that special psychic fluid of his. If ever there was a composer of his time it was Mahler, prophetic only in the sense that he already knew what the world would come to know and admit half a century later.

Basically, of course, all of Mahler's music is about Mahler ?which means simply that it is about conflict. Think of it: Mahler the Creator vs. Mahler the Performer; the Jew vs. the Christian; the Believer vs. the Doubter; the Nazi vs. the Sophisticate; the provincial Bohemian vs. the Viennese homme du monde; the Faustian Philosopher vs. the Oriental Mystic the Operatic Symphonist who never wrote an opera. But mainly the battle rages between Western Man at the turn of the century and the life of the spirit. Out of this opposition proceeds the endless list of antitheses ?the whole roster of Yang and Yin ?that inhabit Mahler's music.

What was this duple vision of Mahler's? A vision of his world, crumbling in corruption beneath its smug surface, fulsome, hypocritical, prosperous, sure of its terrestrial immortality, yet bereft of its faith in spiritual immortality. The music is almost cruel in its revelations: it is like a camera that has caught Western society in the moment of its incipient decay. But to Mahler's own audiences none of this was apparent: they refused (or were unable) to see themselves mirrored in these grotesque symphonies. They heard only exaggeration, extravagance, bombast, obsessive length ?failing to recognize these as symptoms of their own decline and fall. They heard what seemed like the history of German-Austrian music, recapitulated in ironic or distorted terms ?and they called it shameful eclecticism. They heard endless, brutal, maniacal marches ?but failed to see the imperial insignia, the Swastika (make your own list) on the uniforms of the marchers. They heard mighty Chorales, overwhelming brass hymns ?but failed to see them tottering at an abyss of tonal deterioration. They heard extended, romantic love songs ?but failed to understand that these Liebestr鋟me were nightmares, as were those mad, degenerate Landler.

But what makes the heartbreaking duplicity is that all these anxiety-ridden images were set up alongside images of the life of the spirit, Mahler's anima, which surrounds, permeates, and floodlights these cruel pictures with the tantalizing radiance of how life could be. The intense longing for serenity is inevitably coupled with the sinister doubt that it can be achieved. Obversely, the innate violence of the music, the excesses of sentiment, the arrogance of establishment, the vulgarity of power-postures, the disturbing rumble of status-non-quo are all the more agonizing for being linked with memories of innocence, with the aching nostalgia of youthful dreams, with aspirations towards the Empyrean, noble proclamations of redemption, or with the bittersweet tease of some Nirvana or other, just barely out of reach. It is thus a conflict between an intense love of life and a disgust with life, between a fierce longing for Himmel and the fear of death.

This dual vision of Mahler, which tore him apart all his life, is the vision we have finally come to perceive in his music. This is what Mahler meant when he said, my time will come.?It is only after fifty, sixty, seventy years of world holocausts, of the simultaneous advance of democracy with our increasing inability to stop making war, of the simultaneous magnification of national pieties with intensification of our active resistance to social equality ?only after we have experienced all this through the smoking ovens of Auschwitz, the frantically bombed jungles of Vietnam, through Hungary, Suez, the Bay of Pigs, the farce-trial of Sinyavsky and Daniel, the refueling of the Nazi machine, the murder in Dallas, the arrogance of South Africa, the Hiss-Chambers travesty, the Trotzkyite purges, Black Power, Red Guards, the Arab encirclement of Israel, the plague of McCarthyism, the Tweedledum armament race ?only after all this can we finally listen to Mahler's music and understand that it foretold all. And in the foretelling it showered a rain of beauty on this world that has not been equaled since.

Now that the world of music has begun to understand the dualistic energy-source of Mahler's music, the very key to its meaning, it is easier to understand this phenomenon in specific Mahlerian terms. For the doubleness of the music is the doubleness of the man. Mahler was split right down the middle, with the curious result that whatever quality is perceptible and definable in his music, the diametrically opposite quality is equally so. Of what other composer can this be said? Can we think of Beethoven as both roughhewn and epicene? Is Debussy both subtle and blatant? Mozart both refined and raw? Stravinsky both objective and maudlin? Unthinkable. But Mahler, uniquely, is all of these ?roughhewn and epicene, subtle and blatant, refined, raw, objective, maudlin, brash, shy, grandiose, self-annihilating, confident, insecure, adjective, opposite, adjective, opposite.

The first spontaneous image that springs to my mind at the mention of the word Mahler?is of a colossus straddling the magic dateline ?900.?There he stands, his left foot (closer to the heart!) firmly planted in the rich, beloved nineteenth century, and his right, rather less firmly, seeking solid ground in the twentieth. Some say he never found this foothold; others (and I agree with them) insist that twentieth-century music could not exist as we know it if that right foot had not landed there with a commanding thud. Whichever assessment is right, the image remains: he straddled. Along with Strauss, Sibelius and, yes, Schoenberg, Mahler sang the last rueful songs of nineteenth-century romanticism. But Strauss抯 extraordinary gifts went the route of a not very subjective virtuosity; Sibelius and Schoenberg found their own extremely different but personal routes into the new century. Mahler was left straddling; his destiny was to sum up, package, and lay to ultimate rest the fantastic treasure that was German-Austrian music from Bach to Wagner.

It was a terrible and dangerous heritage. Whether he saw himself as the last symphonist in the long line started by Mozart, or the last Heilige Deutsche Kestler in the line started by Bach, he was in the same rocky boat. To recapitulate the line, bring it to climax, show it all in one, soldered and smelted together by his own fires ?this was a function assigned him by history and destiny, a function that meant years of ridicule, rejection, and bitterness.

But he had no choice, compulsive manic creature that he was. He took all (all!) the basic elements of German music, including the cliche, and drove them to their ultimate limits. He turned rests into shuddering silences; upbeats into volcanic preparations as for a death blow. Luftpausen became gasps of shock or terrified suspense; accents grew into titanic stresses to be achieved by every conceivable means, both sonic and tonic. Ritardandi were stretched into near-motionlessness; accelerandi became tornadoes; dynamics were refined and exaggerated to a point of neurasthenic sensibility. Mahler抯 marches are like heart attacks, his chorales like all Christendom gone mad. The old conventional four-bar phrases are delineated in steel; his most traditional cadences bless like the moment of remission from pain. Mahler is German music multiplied by n.

The result of all this exaggeration is, of course, that neurotic intensity which for so many years was rejected as unendurable, and in which we now find ourselves mirrored. And there are concomitant results: an irony almost too bitter to comprehend; excesses of sentimentality that still make some listeners wince; moments of utter despair, often the despair of not being able to drive all this material even further, into some kind of paramusic that might at last cleanse us. But we are cleansed, when all is said and done; no person of sensibility can come away from the Ninth Symphony without being exhausted and purified. And that is the triumphant result of all this purgatory, justifying all excesses: we do ultimately encounter an apocalyptic radiance, a glimmer of what peace must be like.

So much for the left foot: what of the right, tentatively scratching at the new soil of the twentieth century, testing it for solidity, fertility, roots? Yes, it was found fertile; there were roots there, but they had sprung frm the other side. All of Mahler抯 testing, experiments, incursions were made in terms of the past. His breaking-up of rhythms, his post-Wagnerian stretching of tonality to its very snapping point (but not beyond it!), his probings into a new thinness of texture, into bare linear motion, into transparent chamber-music-like orchestral manipulation ?all these adumbrated what was to become twentieth-century common practice; but they all emanated from those nineteenth-century notes he loved so well. Similarly, in his straining after new forms ?a two-movement symphony (#8), a six-movement symphony (#3), symphonies with voices, not only in the Finales (#3, #8, Das Lied), movements which are interludes, interruptions, movements deliberately malformed through arbitrary abridgment or obsessive repetition or fragmentation ?all these attempts at new formal structures abide in the shadow of Beethoven抯 Ninth, the last Sonatas and string quartets. Even the angular melodic motions, the unexpected intervals, the infinitely wide skips, the search for 揺ndless?melody, the harmonic ambiguities ?all of which have deeply influenced many a twentieth-century composer ?are nevertheless ultimately traceable back to Beethoven and Wagner.

I think that this is probably why I doubt that I shall ever come to terms with the so-called Tenth Symphony. I have never been convinced of those rhythmic experiments in the Scherzo, of the flirtation with atonality. I often wonder what would have happened had Mahler not died so young. Would he have finished that Tenth Symphony, more or less as the current versions?have it? Would he have scrapped it? Were there signs there that he was about to go over the hill, and encamp with Schoenberg? It is one of the more fascinating Ifs of history. Somehow I think he was unable to live through that crisis, because there was no solution for him; he had to die with that symphony unfinished. After all, a man抯 destiny is nothing more or less than precisely what happened to him in life. Mahler抯 destiny was to complete the great German symphonic line and then depart, without it being granted him to start a new one. This may be clear to us now; but for Mahler, while he lived, his destiny was anything but clear. In his own mind he was at least as much part of the new century as of the old. He was a tormented, divided man, with his eyes on the future and his heart in the past.

But his destiny did permit him to bestow much beauty, and to occupy a unique place in musical history. In this position of Amen-sayer to symphonic music, through exaggeration and distortion, through squeezing the last drops of juice out of that glorious fruit, through his desperate and insistent reexamination and reevaluation of his materials, through pushing tonal music to its uttermost boundaries, Mahler was granted the honor of having the last word, uttering the final sigh, letting fall the last living tear, saying the final good-by. To what? To life as he knew it and wanted to remember it, to unspoiled nature, to faith in redemption; but also to music as he knew it and remembered it, to the unspiled nature of tonal beauty, to faith in its future ?good-by to all that. The last C major chord of Das Lied von der Erde was for him the last resolution of all Faustian history. For him?


... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.682859.html Thu, 19 May 2005 18:05:24 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.676252.html

DG在05年出的新片，王健的巴赫无伴奏大提琴组曲。
有意思的是，这是DG第一次在唱片封面上用了中文。
这套唱片评价并不高，音效的平衡到了今天自然已经不成问题，录音棚里面很少出现“失败”的录音。
我之前收藏的两套无大，分别是大提琴宗师Pablo Casals和Jano Starker的录音，另外还在搜寻Rostropovich的那个传奇版本。Casals自然不用介绍，正是他重新挖掘出了这一部被长时间冷落的作品。
Starker和Rostropovich这两位大师都是在今年才录制了巴赫无大，这毕竟是一部不仅需要炉火纯青的技巧，还需要深刻阅历下才能完美驾驭和解读的作品。
王健，或许还太年轻。录音有很强的空气感，可以想象出手指在弦上滑动，灰尘飞舞的特写；但不得不说，这是一个缺乏表情的演奏，在流畅的高强度运弓中牺牲了作品的歌唱性。Fresh to the ears, but less inspirational。

这是唱片封面背后的煽情介绍性文字：
The Bach Cello Suites are among the most attractive and accessible music ever written---both in and outside the classical world. Their melodies sing like a human voice and at the same time they display a fascinating polyphony. For Jiang Wang, they also "echo the Chinese philosophy of life: To be humble, to wish but not desire, to love but not own”.... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.676252.html Sun, 15 May 2005 09:05:47 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.667877.html

















... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.667877.html Mon, 09 May 2005 14:05:23 GMT http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.657908.html




William Kapell, the first American-born piano master, died in a plane crush at the age of 31.
Given another 10 years, he would absolutely outmate Rubinstein and Horowitz.

Collected from ILLEGAL SOURCE, the box sets have been cracked but the CDs remain as gorgeous as they could be. 300RMB were paid, apparently not cheap but less than half the original price.... ]]> http://hellbounce.ycool.com/post.657908.html Sun, 01 May 2005 20:05:06 GMT